Day 50: The Television Licence

Today's saving: £145.50!  Frugal Win!!

Well sort of.  From one point of view anyway.

Yes - today has seen the long-awaited conversation with the television licence people re. the complicated situation of having a television, but not watching it. I expected a sucking-in of breath and a sharp lecture along the lines of, If you have a television, then you must ...  But manners at the licencing authority seem to have improved since the olden days.  The lady at the other end of the conversation (which was 'being recorded for training purposes' - yeah, right!) even apologised for sounding suspicious when she read me my righ ... ahem, explained the law to me.   Quite a contrast to the bombardment of letters I got in my early working days, with threats of fines, court, and home raids: letters which did not even list as an option the possibility that one could conceivably live without the darned thing.

Friend Nik, who is in the same situation, recounts a conversation she had with a nice boy at the other end of the line.  She explained the non-existence of the television, which he accepted without demure.  But then curiosity got the better of him.  "I understand that you don't have a television, he said.  "But can I just ask ...

   what do your chairs face?"      

Instead of television, and especially before the days of the internet, I made do with books.  I kept a record of all I read in my first year of working life, when I lived all alone in a strange city.  My first degree was in English Literature, but it had assumed that modern literature ended in 1945.  So I deliberately set out this year to catch up on the modern literary novel.  I read over 80.  I have never quite equalled that total since, mainly because I did actually develop a social life.  But still, it stands as an ideal.

So come, Mr Television Licence Man, and inspect my flat. I don't have to let you in, but if I don't, the letters start again.  Come, and see that the television receives no signal, that it is not connected to any satelite or cable, that it is not tuned in to any television stations at all.  Come, and see that the flat is full of books.

The weird thing is, although the television is almost permanently blank, my chairs still face it.  :-)

Today's Expenditure = £6.50  (I was disorganised, headed out early, and did not make a packed lunch.  This was breakfast and lunch.  What a waste.)

Day 48: Lady Bountiful's Legacy

Without actually meaning to collect them as such, I have a fair number of delightful old books around the topic of cooking and/or housekeeping.  Some I have picked up in secondhand shops over the years, but quite a few of them were rescued from my grandmother's house when she moved in with my mother.  This includes the very wonderful 1001 Pudding Recipes from 1913, which I maintain would be better titled, 1001 Things to Do with an Apple. 

These books have taken on a new interest in my attempt to live without some of the more expensive modern commodities.  So much so, that I intend to profile some of them over the coming months, beginning with the grandmother of them all: Lady Bountiful's Legacy.

It sounds like a taudry novelette.  But, as it turns out, Lady Bountiful is the pseudonym of some busybody from the reign of Queen Anne, who was resurrected by an equally busy Victorian body as a vehicle for their musings on home economy.  This book was an ill-conceived 1881 Arithmetic Prize, "open to all the school" but clearly destined for some favourite girl, which was in the event won by my unfortunate great-grandfather.  According to its own subtitle, it is A Book of Practical Instructions & Duties, Counsels & Experiences, Anecdotes, Hints, & Recipes, in Housekeeping & Domestic Management.  Not unlike this Blog, in fact.

Anyhow, Lady Bountiful is a thoroughly annoying character and, I suspect, a man.  Nothing else could account for that peculiar mixture of utter confidence and total ignorance when it comes to housekeeping.  She knows nothing about everything, but spouts it anyway: Thirst, to prevent: In hot weather, eat plenty of fresh butter at breakfast.  Avoid drinking water as you would poison.  Alongside her antipathy to water, she has a worrying love of actual poisons: Chloride of lime has been found to be most effectual to rid a house of rats, mice, flies, wasps, and other similar annoyances. (She warns the housewife not to place this substance on her dresser, or the fumes will cause her china to lose its pattern!!)  Although entirely without medical training, she cites some thoroughly alarming remedies with the confidence of Dr Kildare: Creosote is said to be a remedy for sea-sickness.  (Note: DO NOT try this at home.)  Moreover, she gives credence to her madness by her own idiosyncratic interpretation of history, the recitation of increasingly gruesome anecdotes, and by peppering the narrative with the names of Famous Doctors whom we are obviously Supposed to Know.

That said, there may nevertheless be some useful things therein, and I intend gving it a more thorough read.  But for now I turn to the chapter Cookery for the Poor.  Be warned, that her recipes are vague to the point of being nonsensical, and much creativity may be needed to interpret them.  Nevertheless, having leafed past the recipes for  Sheep's Head Broth, and the disgusting-sounding Onion Porridge, I leave you with the slightly more palatable Rice Stew:

A red herring, or four ounces of lean bacon, cut in pieces; three onions; a few peppercorns, thyme, and parsley; boiled in three pints of water three quarters of an hour, with one pound of clean-picked whole rice.*  When it boils, set the pot by the side of the fire: the rice will swell, take up all the water, and become quite soft.  If properly done, it will weigh nearly five pounds, and will dine five men, as it frequently did in the year of scarcity, 1800.  If the rice is not sufficiently soft, add a little more water as it stands by the fire.

* yes, you are right, this makes no sense: do you boil the rice for three quarters of an hour, or just bring it to the boil and then let it sit?  I suggest frying off the fish or bacon, the onions, and the spices, then adding the water, rice, and thyme, and cooking until the water is absorbed.  Then stir in the parsley, and serve. 

Oh, and you might want to adjust quantities!

Today's Expenditure: 30p