Day 25: Sponging

Well, it was only to the cinema with my mother.  But we have seen every single Harry Potter film together since they began ten years ago, and there was no way we were going to miss the last one.  It is part of my on-going attempts to keep her abreast of popular culture.

But what? you say.  Can this be?  Can there be space in a frugal lifestyle for trips to the cinema?

The short answer is yes, if one's mother is paying.  She forked out the £7.20 I needed so that she might have the pleasure of my company.  Which has sent me on something of a guilt trip, because one of the regrettable side effects of the whole frugality drive is that I have become a sponge.

I don't mean to be.  I am determined to pay my way, or at least to barter my services.  But people are nice, see, and they don't like to see me do without.  And so they buy me stuff.  I'll treat you to a coffee.  But I'm buying the pizza anyway.  This round's on me. 

I think it was Wittgenstein who said that there is no such thing as a free gift.  He argued that all gifts are part of a complicated human interaction of value and barter and exchange.  If I give a gift to you, I expect a gift of approximately the same value back.  Even if I think I don't think this, I soon know that I do when you present me with a fridge magnet in exchange for my chocolates and roses.  So even though my friends and family are being so very kind, nevertheless I am finding it impossible in myself to escape the rules of gift-giving.  For I am now in that terrible place - I am beholden to them.

Wittgenstinnian Angst

I am really struggling how to solve this one.  Maybe I need to insist more on the frugal options - no, I can't come to the cinema - but that means that they lose out too.  The Rowntrees foundation was right.  You need money not just for the basics, but to participate in society.  Society doesn't like you if your don't participate.

But I did repay my mother's generosity by buying her a cappuccino.  She loves cappuccinos.  Cleverly, I sent her to grab a table while I ordered it at the bar.  It was clever, because at the same time, I ordered a glass of tap water for myself.  The barmaid did not see my mother, so she thought both drinks were for me!  She even put ice and lemon and a straw in my water, so that when I carried it to the table, it looked to all the drinkers round about like a long G&T.  If my mother thought about it at all, she also probably thought that it was a G&T.  All potential social embarrassment thus averted!

Perhaps I just need to relax and let them enjoy being bountiful.  Buy them the occasional cappuccino.  Bake them a lot of cakes.

Total Expenditure: £1.90

Day 22: Fran's Happy Dance

Yes indeed.  Today I actually achieved one of these changes of mindset I have been talking about.   You know: the one where I am faced with a couple of choices, one of which is more attractive, but the other more frugal.  And I chose the more frugal one!!

*Fran does a metaphorical cartwheel, a literal one not happening any time soon.*

The scenario is simple.  A quick facebook conversation with Friend Rich, and we agree to catch up over coffee.  He knows about the frugality drive, and so his precise words were: "We can either go budget and meet in the (work) kitchen, or head to a cafe."

Well, a cafe sounded very nice.  So I began typing, and this is what I wrote: "Let's do the cafe thing.  I can stretch to a cup of coffee :)"  My finger hovered over "Enter".  And then I paused.  I remembered the bus/train incident, and the Abomination of Desolation that hitches its ride to the Chariot of Failure.  And I deleted what I had written and replied instead, "Kitchen it is, then.  I'll bring milk!"

Which is why I am now feeling very pleased with myself.  Friend Rich and I had a good and sociable chat, enjoyed some excellent coffee thanks to his cafetiere, and I also supplied some Oreos that were on special offer in the newsagent's.  (Ideally, I would have baked something, but I just didn't have time.)  The whole cost less than a half of the usual coffee price, and I have a goodly part of a pint of milk in my fridge to boot.  What is more, for the rest of the day, I have been basking in the summery warmth of smug self-satisfaction.

The Oreos, however, have been consumed in their entirety.

Total Expenditure: 89p

Day 8: Tipping and Other Lost Monies

As I feared, there is no internet access at this conference centre.
The following pages were written daily, however, and uploaded all at once.

I fear that I am failing the frugality test. Okay, so over the last five days, I have spend precisely 5.50 euros and £2 of my own money. Which isn't too bad, all things considered. But here's the thing – I should have spent nothing. In other words, I have spent just over £6 that I did not have to spend. I made 8 portions of soup for a quarter of that!

But I was thirsty one evening, and instead of asking for tap water at the little bar at the conference centre, I found myself ordering a Holunder Bionade (a fizzy cranberry juice, to you and me). And then last night, I not only bought myself another Bionade, but found myself saying, “Would you like something to drink?” to a colleague. I actually also said it to a third person, as was only polite, but luckily he declined. Nevertheless, that was 3 euros more. And the rest of the money went on tips – tips! - to two taxi drivers.

The trouble is, to do this properly, I am going to have to become downright mean. No more rounds in the bar. No more tips to taxi drivers or waitresses or hairdressers, even if someone else is paying for the rest. Luckily, in the UK, you don't have to tip. It is not required, and not necessarily even expected. But it is a nice and a polite thing to do if the service has been good, and I have been brought up to be nice and polite. I see that I am going to have to cultivate a certain hardness of heart.

But perhaps there is hope for me. I am writing this in the airport at Düsseldorf (no drinking fountains here - Amsterdam wins!), and they have a book shop with a nice big section of English crime novels. I had a good browse to pass some time, and saw quite a few that I want to read. Crime novels, you should know, are my trash of choice. But I want you to know and admire this, for this is a true and faithful account:

Düsseldorf Airport

I DID NOT BUY A BOOK.

*bows*

Thank you.

Total: £5